The Worst of 2018

2018 has been a pretty split year as far as horror movies go. We had some of the best in years as well as some real cinematic abominations. These are the absolute worst that horror had to offer this year, but first some dishonorable mentions...

The First Purge

It's exactly the same as the other three films: sloppy, loud, and obnoxious. 'The Purge' franchise has some of the most forced themes crammed into them as if they're trying to have a deeper message or speak about something meaningful. Instead, it's just watching unlikable and vile people riot for 2 hours. You've seen this one before so it's better to skip it.

The Cloverfield Paradox

This film had some great stuff going for it, from its surprise reveal on the night of the Super Bowl and claiming to be the connecting factor to the first two 'Cloverfield' films. Instead, we get yet another sci-fi film that wants to be '2001: A Space Odyssey' while throwing in a vague connection at the very end to justify its title. One of the most generic films you'll find on Netflix, and one you should ignore in favor of some much better choices on the site.

And with those out of the way, here are the biggest losers...

   

Winchester

The true story behind the mysterious Winchester Mansion is one of the most unsettling you'll likely hear, so how is it that CBS Films managed to make such a dog of a picture? Casting the excellent Helen Mirren and Jason Clarke in such dreck is just salt in the wound. This should have been a surefire hit but rather than go with the true elements and psychological terror 'Winchester' opts to rely on the same old ghost story tropes leaving the audience nothing to enjoy.

   

The Nun

A perfect example of why we don't need a cinematic universe for every single film nowadays, 'The Nun' is a bland snoozer of a film that has none of the characterization or suspense of the 'Conjuring' films. It's yet another ghost story set in a Gothic castle with a jump scare every five minutes. Throw in the most vague and desperate connection to the franchise and you have a film that struggles to justify its own existence. 

   

Blumhouse's Truth or Dare

Blumhouse for many years now have had some of the best and/or most successful horror films of the modern age, but its only natural for anyone to have a reject or two down the line and 'Truth or Dare' is the perfect example. I couldn't tell you the whole plot of this flick again if I tried, nor could I tell you any of the character's names. This picture above is the most you'll see of the creature and it's completely absurd using the very worst and laziest CGI you'll see. I was so close to walking out on this one and it will be forever a painful memory.

 

Slender Man

Earlier this year, this film came under some controversy where many felt the film was in poor taste and shouldn't have been made. I 100 percent disagreed with that and even wrote a little piece about it, but just because I feel that the film had a right to be made doesn't mean it isn't a huge dumpster fire. Whether or not the multiple edits and delays of the film made it a worse final product, I can't imagine some extra gore scenes or an alternate ending would have changed the outcome here. A slow, boring horror film based on a license that honestly was capitalized on too late. I still defend censorship of 'Slender Man', but I can't defend it's poor quality.

Hell Fest

'Hell Fest' commits some of the worst sins of slasher films. It's light on gore, little body count, and completely wastes its admittedly awesome setting and premise. It also tries to sequel bait, which is one of the most annoying things ever. If we don't care enough about this film, you'll be damn sure we don't want to see another one. This one was more disappointing than all out bad, but still if you can get schooled by direct to video slashers with lower budgets, you should be ashamed.

 

The Possession of Hannah Grace

Did anyone even know this one came out? Did anyone even know it left after about a week? I simply will never understand why a studio would shell out several million dollars for a film they clearly have no interest in. I can't even find out if the movie managed to make back its paltry budget or not. This film is the most forgettable one you'll see this year, horror or otherwise. It's so pathetic that it doesn't even clock in at 90 minutes. What the hell was Screen Gems thinking? (Though I guess the same should be said about 'Slender Man')

And that was the worst of the worst for 2018. Granted, I'm sure there was a lot more as sadly the horror genre tends to get the bulk of cinematic garbage but hey I can only go through so much torture. Hope you all have a Happy New Year and come back and see me for some more reviews.

 

  

The Best of 2018

Another year, another slew of horror both good and bad. These are the ones I consider the best. But first, some honorable mentions:

The Strangers: Prey at Night

While it was far too late for a follow-up to 2008's 'The Strangers' and 'Prey at Night' is a bonkers and more traditional slasher film, It felt like the filmmakers are putting their best efforts into a mediocre script. There's a strong visual appeal to everything, taking inspiration from the films of John Carpenter and others of the 1980s and I will still defend it now as I did the first time, the swimming pool confrontation is one of the best scenes in a movie I've seen all year. It wasn't perfect, but I still dug it.

 

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich

I'm not sure why it took so many entries in this series to finally just give us something straight-forward, nasty, and fun? The film is a semi-reboot of the long running franchise and gives it the fresh breath of air it sorely needed. That being said, It's still at the end of the day a 'Puppet Master' film with many of the same cheap special effects and plot holes aplenty but the film relishes in its campy and exploitative nature making for an entertaining bloodbath.

 

Leprechaun Returns

2018 seemed to be the year of the soft reboots, and 'Leprechaun Returns' was one that certainly took me by surprise. I honestly don't think even the most hardcore of us horror fans were really clamoring for this one, but hey like 'Puppet Master', this sequel just takes the elements that work and crafts a fun and surprisingly gory flick with some humor that didn't make me cringe (for the most part).

And now onto my top 10 of 2018...

Overlord

A last minute entry this year is a new film from Bad Robot Productions that feels like a 'Wolfenstein' game come to life. While Nazi zombies are certainly nothing new in the horror genre and have been done much better (Dead Snow) 'Overlord' has some strong performances, likeable characters, and some great action sequences throughout. It's on the bottom however because the horror elements don't really come into play until the final act, giving the film some strong tonal whiplash.

   

 Hellraiser: Judgment

Clive Barker's 1987 film 'Hellraiser' will always be one of the best in the horror genre, but this series is by far one of the worst when it comes to its numerous sequels. After eight sequels that range from okay to unbearable, I really did not expect this year's entry to be so entertaining for me. Right from the beginning, it introduces a fascinating idea of eternal damnation by having the lost soul go through a processing of sorts before they are assigned their punishment. It's one of the most brilliant ideas for a story let alone a 'Hellraiser' sequel but the biggest issue here is the budget. This film is obviously very cheap and not all of the film's ideas get across very well due to these limitations. I still highly recommend 'Judgment' if you're desperate for another good 'Hellraiser' film.

Upgrade

To be fair, this is leaning more towards science-fiction, but writer/director Leigh Whannell created one of the best modern sci-fi films in years. Taking elements from 'Blade Runner' and the body horror of director David Cronenberg 'Upgrade' takes you on a roller coaster of constantly changing themes and emotions until your head just explodes. First it's this gritty revenge drama, then we get some comedy, then gore and horror elements. Man, this film is just all over the place but its pieced together perfectly so as not to crumble under all the madness. If you missed out on 'Upgrade', I highly recommend you catch it.

   

 Mandy

Really, all I have to say here is Nicholas Cage goes insane with a chainsaw and you're instantly hooked. 'Mandy' is a bizarre wave of ultra-violence and what one must see on every drug known to man. For a film with such a basic premise, that of a man on a mission of vengeance but twists it in such a way that there's truly nothing like 'Mandy', not now or even in the heyday of the drug-fueled 70's. It's 100% unique and for that I cannot recommend it highly enough. 

 

 The House That Jack Built

Lars Von Trier's new film over hypes itself with its shocking content a bit too much for its own good, but there is something special hidden within this one. The film's overarching story, its ideas, its religious and mythological elements take the film far beyond what's on the surface. Von Trier unfortunately frequently masks what he is trying to say with some very over the top and nasty moments. Still, it is a different experience than I'm sure many are used to and if you can stomach a bit of violence then check it out and see if it says anything to you.

  

Hereditary

Much like 'Jack' this one will heavily depend on the viewer's tolerance but not in the same way. This one is a slow burn to put it mildly and requires your utmost attention, but I feel those who do so will be greatly rewarded with a surreal and eerie horror film with some award worthy performances (screw you Golden Globes) and that final shot will stay with me forever. Hail Paimon!

Suspiria

Talk about coming out of left field, I never expected this film to be great or even good. "Remaking one of the best films of all time?! You must be insane!" said most of the horror community and while this one certainly divided people I gotta be honest, this is easily in my top three this year. It's a film that can be viewed in its own world, rather than being compared to the Dario Argento classic. It tells its own story and even with its hefty running time, I was sitting there entranced and totally invested in it to the very end. 2018's 'Suspira' is a beautiful art piece that may not click with you but it's still something you need to see at least once.

 

 Halloween

I seriously considered this to be my top pick this year but really in the end 'Halloween' is still a basic slasher movie. Don't get me wrong, it's a brilliantly done slasher and is by far the best sequel in the series. Jamie Lee Curtis's return was worth the long wait as she comes back in full form as if she never left. Director David Gordon Green and writer Danny McBride proved everyone wrong and did the unthinkable: a sequel that is almost on par with the original.

 

A Quiet Place

I know this is pretty predictable for me to pick as my top film, but again defying and going beyond the audiences expectations and not only crafting one of the finest horror films of the modern age, but doing it with minimalist techniques that ramp up the tension. A cast that cannot speak but can still act as strongly as here is the biggest proof that an actor has talent, and Emily Blunt and company are some of the finest in the industry. 'A Quiet Place' just does everything right without resorting to cheap tricks or gore but pure suspense and atmosphere. This is the best horror film of 2018.

Thank you to everyone who supports this page by coming on here and reading my funny little opinions. It really means something to me for you to all still be here after all this time. Be sure to check back in a while for my 'Worst' list. Have a happy new year readers.

  

The House That Jack Built (2018)

 NOTE: This is a review of the current 'R' rated cut of the film. The unrated cut features up to a half-hour of extra footage and it will be given its own review in the future. Thank you, and enjoy.


Lars Von Trier is a filmmaker that I am familiar with, but I am not exactly an expert when it comes to his work. The most common words one is likely to hear when reading or hearing about the director is 'controversial' and with good reason. His films are abstract, violent, disturbing, sexual, and a whole lot more than just that. So, with this being my first dip into the pool of his films I had a lot to think about once those two and a half hours were over. 'The House That Jack Built' tells the story of a serial killer played by Matt Dillon named Jack as we are told five random events from his twelve year career while getting many, many tirades about philosophy, religion, misogyny, dictators, and life & death. Honestly, it's hard to review a film like this because this lists of themes and discussions hardly scratch the surface of what I am sure Von Trier is attempting to bring to his viewers. Like his films he is a hard man to understand fully and that's what I think is the appeal to many of his fans.

 

 Let's not sugar coat this: This film revels in its controversial material, with it's entire marketing campaign and any news regarding it always discussing the audience walkout at Cannes, the film's graphic violence, and the various comments made by Von Trier over the years. It's what gets people to see his films, but it also cheapens them and feels as if he just wants to show mutilation and murder just to shock people. Von Trier seems to want to have his cake and eat it too, wanting to tell a meaningful story with artistic visuals and a lasting quality but he relies on Grindhouse style gimmicks which just lowers the overall value of the film I think. I also feel that the film is simply too long, even at it's current edited version for what the story is trying to tell the audience. The film channels strong themes of religion, particularly Dante's vision of the multi-layered Hell and you could call it a twisted form of 'It's A Wonderful Life'. We are shown these various acts or 'Incidents' as the film likes to call them in seemingly no real order other than the beginning and the very end but each individual murder Jack commits all deal with different philosophies of the character as he carries on a conversation with a mysterious old man named Verge.

Each scene also takes inspiration from real killers and it makes the already disturbing material that much more so if one knows the background of each one. The film employs the usual artsy style many films of this kind tend to do, and frankly even as a film lover it's become a cliche. Just because your film has random stock footage or like the scene above parodying Bob Dylan doesn't mean it art or has meaning. Really even directors I love like David Lynch can fall into this trap and when you lose the majority of the audience, it's hard to justify some of these choices. Where I think the film is at its strongest is in the final two acts, one taking place in an empty and quiet apartment complex, and the film's finale which I won't spoil here but the best way I can describe it is interesting and thought provoking if one chooses to do so. The apartment murder of Jack's current girlfriend is the most shocking and genuinely felt scary and tense. Jack screaming that no one is going to help, him openly admitting to a cop that he's a killer, and still he kills this woman, does awful things to her...ahem...chest and still gets away with it. That is true life horror right there, and it's happened more than once in reality and the final image of the policeman too busy with young minorities to witness Jack place a body part on his windshield is the most obvious visual queue but one of the film's strongest images.

While the film is stunning in its visuals and clearly a well made film, It wouldn't be strong enough without Matt Dillon's performance. He's very scary and plays the tropes one associates with serial killers perfectly. He practices expressions in his mirror everyday using photographs to fake empathy in one scene. If that's not scary to you, then I can't imagine what is and Dillon is clearly the standout and the catalyst to the whole picture. The rest of the cast does fine, though they are shown in such limited capacity I can't really judge them on their performances. This is Dillon's show all the way. 'The House That Jack Built' is a hard movie to review because it's clearly not designed for a mainstream audience. It's an abstract art piece that moves, and like any art you'll either see a masterpiece or an overpriced piece of junk. The film's deliberate attempts to anger and disgust its audience cheapens what overall was a thoughtful and well performed film but I still recommend it for those who can stomach the more graphic content. It's a very very fine house you've built, Jack.