Ranking the Friday the 13th Films

Happy Friday the 13th to you all. We should all know by now how this works, as I am certainly not the first one to write such an article. Worst to First of the 'Friday the 13th' franchise and keep in mind that despite their placement on this list, I will have at least one or two positives to each entry just to keep this from being too typical of others. Also please keep in mind that this is my opinion, and I happily welcome your comments on which films you prefer in the series. Before we get into the official rankings, I'd like to address a few honorable mentions:

Honorable Mention #1: Never Hike Alone

Probably the best fan film ever made, 'Never Hike Alone' has such quality to it, from the visuals to the acting that this could be considered an official 'Friday' film. You even get Thom Matthews returning and the Jason in this film is really good. There's been talks of sequels so here's hoping that these will keep fans happy until the unfortunate legal battles finally end.

Honorable Mention #2: Crystal Lake Memories

Our last mention goes to the in depth, seven hour documentary of the entire series. This is the definitive look at the 'Friday the 13th' franchise, even a whole section dedicated to the 80's television program. If there's anything left to discover after watching this film or reading the book it's based on I'd be surprised. A must see for every Jason fan.

And with those out of the way, here we go with our official ranking. Our first and by far the worst 'Friday' film is...

#12: Jason Goes to Hell (1993)

This film feels more appropriate as an episode of the 'Friday the 13th' TV show rather than a full blown sequel. It introduces too many new and frankly silly elements into what was the 9th film by then. Had this been earlier, it may have been more acceptable to include these but the formula had been set in stone long before this. I will commend 'Jason Goes to Hell' for at least attempting something different, but it's a bit too different. One thing I do enjoy is the gore is really high compared to earlier films and the special effects in general are at least passable. This film overall though feels too out of place in the 'Friday the 13th' series. I don't absolutely despise 'Jason Goes to Hell' like I did as a teenager, but it's the one I rarely ever go back to unless I'm having a marathon or reviewing the series such as now.

#11: Friday the 13th Part VIII-Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

Part VIII goes back and forth on this list for me personally. I did enjoy this one a lot when I first saw all 8 films when I was 13 (heh heh) but it has not aged gracefully. Really, the most common complaint is the obvious: Jason only appears in New York for 20 minutes (even less if you consider that a lot of it is shot in Canada) but I'm guessing because I didn't see it when it first came out (Hell, I wasn't even born for another five months) I just don't find that to be the biggest issue with the film. The biggest issue I felt was how sanitized this film feels, with lackluster kills, little to no gore even when you check out the cut material, and cheap special effects. Not to mention this is probably the worst looking Jason in the series with a crappy looking rubber mask for a face and just being covered in green slime. The film's biggest flaw however is that its just simply boring as hell. It does at least have one good thing: the opening credits. The moody shots throughout the various New York locations to the great song 'Darkest Side of the Night' is one of the best openers in the series. Sadly, there's not much else here to redeem it. Probably should be lower but who knows it may change someday.

#10: Jason X (2002)

Jason in space. That's all I have to say to get a reaction out of most people when discussing the Friday films. Strangely in some interviews, series creator Sean Cunningham states that he did want a serious straightforward horror film with 'Jason X' and I'm not exactly sure why he expected that result when taking a character into space is about as far the shark could possibly jump. This is a silly movie, but that's ultimately why I don't rank it at the bottom like I've seen some do. Unlike 'Jason Goes to Hell' or Part 8, this movie is entertaining to me and one I will watch with a group of friends. It's akin to a SyFy channel movie of the week and fits perfectly with 'Sharknado' or other B-Movie fodder. It has the slight edge of having a bigger budget than those, but good luck figuring out just where it all went. This was reportedly the largest budget at the time for a 'Friday' movie and it looks like 'Star Trek' quality with cheap CGI and cheaper set design. Still though, this is one of the best 'So Bad, It's Good' movies out there and one of my biggest guilty pleasures.

#9: Friday the 13th Part VII-The New Blood (1988)

The start of what many would call the gimmick era of Jason flicks, 'The New Blood' has garnered a large following mainly due to the introduction of actor Kane Hodder as Jason Voorhees. It's not hard to understand why I suppose, he did give one of the most memorable performances as the character and gave him his own style which the best Jason's often did. But overall, the movie as a whole is really not that great. The movie is one of the most infamous for having every kill cut to pieces by the MPAA leaving the film with nothing to work with. The teen characters all suck, Tina is acted well but ultimately, she's just a rip-off of Carrie White, and Dr. Crews is such a comic book villain that he just annoys you rather than brings any kind of menace. The newer material they try to inject into the formula just ultimately doesn't work here and I'm sad to say that with each viewing of Part VII, I feel less and less entertainment from it.

#8: Friday the 13th Part V-A New Beginning (1985)

Unlike Part VII, I strangely find myself enjoying Part V more with each subsequent viewing. I don't mind that Jason isn't the killer (some seem to forget that he wasn't in the original) but rather the killer himself. Having someone else become a copycat killer of Jason wasn't a bad idea on paper and at least tried to go back to the original as a whodunit, but Roy Burns has no character development, no personality, and we really don't get to know him at all. You be forgiven if you even realized who he was once they reveal his face at the climax and his motivations are confusing and downright stupid. So why do I come back to it more often than some? Why is it so high on the list? Because the film around it is entertaining, sleazy, and funny. The redneck couple Ethel and Junior are hilarious, every character practically is over the top and bizarre, the kills are numerous and though trimmed still have some of the series' best highlights, and the sleaze just takes you back to those old grindhouse movies. Part V may not be a masterpiece or anything, but it sets out to do everything a 'Friday' film should, and it makes for a fun watch.

#7: Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

This movie came out when I was 13 years old and I remember the whole summer campaign before its release. You'd think it was a Marvel movie coming out, with posters and live events, trailers, commercials, and even a novelization. I remember begging my parents to take me with no luck and then when I reached high school, I sat down and finally got to see this hyped up film. It wasn't disappointing per say, but it was obvious that the hype had made expectations a bit too high. Now nearly twenty years later, 'Freddy vs. Jason' is seen somewhat as a bad egg on both franchise checklists and I can see why. The characters all suck even for both franchises and the hyper stylized editing and video distortion is annoying but if you go back and just watch it for what it is, it's a great time. It's not a horror film in the slightest, but it doesn't try to be either. It's an action movie with horror style elements and crazy over the top gore and gags. I'll sometimes just watch the finale and nothing else, it's just fun to see these two go at it. Sadly, we never saw anymore team up flicks like this.

#6: Friday the 13th Part III (1982)

Part III is both an iconic and bland sequel that jumps up and down on my list than any other. It was the birth of the now famous Jason look with his signature mask and personality thanks to the late great Richard Brooker. However, it doesn't really try much else beyond a 3D gimmick which doesn't work well because the regular 2D is the most common version to see. It results in some bad special effects, some pretty lackluster gore, and whatever the camera they used at the time results in a smudged looking image making it the ugliest 'Friday the 13th' film. But like I said it has Richard Brooker's Jason which is one of the best, the location is iconic, a lot of the humor does work, Shelly's great, and that funky disco theme is fun. So it's not the worst sequel, but I don't pop it in as much as the others.

#5: Friday the 13th (2009)

Out of all of the Platinum Dunes remakes during the early 2000's, this is arguably one of if not the best of them. It's flaws are obvious and numerous as with other Dunes remakes such as too much stylized camera work, over the top set design, and all the actors just looking like dim models with no personality. Even popular 'Supernatural' actor Jared Padalecki shows no emotion or any sort of giving a crap throughout. However there are three factors that put this one so high up for me. One: Derek Mears is one of the best Jasons, top 5 easily. His John Rambo survivalist Jason makes for an interesting and grounded change to the character and he brings unique quirks that make it his own. Two: Those opening twenty minutes and I know this is always used when reviewers talk about the remake but they really are the best part of the movie. If this had been a short like 'Never Hike Alone' I'd be perfect. And Three: The kills, while not particularly graphic are very brutal and numerous throughout. My favorite being the death of the typical rich jerk character who as is tradition gets one of the nastiest deaths. I really do feel the remake deserves a second look as it holds up better than say 'Texas Chainsaw' or 'Nightmare on Elm Street' as far as remakes go. Its more by the book, but it does the basics well enough.

#4: Friday the 13th (1980)

Some say you can't beat the original, but when it comes to Friday the 13th, that's sadly not the case. Don't get me wrong, the original is good but it's not really innovative or groundbreaking like 'Halloween'. The producers and writer even openly admit to copying 'Halloween' so the film is pretty typical when it comes to slasher movies. What really saves it is the music by Harry Manfredini and Betsy Palmer as Mrs. Voorhees. The music takes cues from Bernard Herman's works and gives some fresh implements as well, becoming one of the most iconic horror soundtracks. Palmer's performance just blows everyone else out of the water. For a woman who at the time only did the job for money, she gives it all and is one of the most tragic characters while at the same time a scary as hell lunatic. This movie, nay this franchise would be nothing if it wasn't for Palmer (RIP). She keeps the original film high on the list alone.

#3: Friday the 13th Part II (1981)

Part II & III didn't really bring much new to the table, other than bringing back Jason as the central killer from here on out. But this sequel does stand out thanks to Amy Steel's Ginny who along with Tommy Jarvis are the two main heroes of the series in my opinion. She's smart, strong but she's also not the clean cut virgin either. She's a real human being and Steel's performance is the one of the strongest by far. Jason sadly isn't all that great here, mainly just a take on the Phantom Killer from 'Town that Dreaded Sundown' and his kills are all pretty uninspired (or gone thanks again to the MPAA). Part II overall does change up enough though to keep you entertained, including subverting expectations on who will die and who doesn't and it's more fun than the original film. Defiantly a frequent go to for me.

#2: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

Second place goes to 'Final Chapter', a great entry that has everything you could ask for in a 'Friday' film. Beautiful women, nudity, drugs, fun characters, good comedic moments, brutal kills, and the best Jason of the series played by Ted White. This is also the best cast of the series, with many future stars making their debut here such as Corey Feldman & Crispin Glover. This is the 'Friday' movie that had the biggest influence on pop culture and firmly cemented Jason forever as a horror icon. Now, is there flaws? Of course there is, mainly some out of place scenes or throwaway characters here and there, but overall this is the 'Friday the 13th' you show off to the uninitiated. It even gives them a little recap so they can sit back and enjoy.

#1: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1987)

So after all that praise for 'Final Chapter', why pick 'Jason Lives' as my number 1? Really, this came down to a tie for me and after watching them both back to back recently as a tiebreaker of sorts, I gotta admit I like 'Jason Lives' more. It has the same fun and lighter atmosphere that 'Final Chapter' did, but part VI takes it one step further. The rocking soundtrack by Alice Cooper, the meta humor before 'Scream' ever was a thought in someone's mind, and the amazing special effects all take me back to my teen years. I've heard many people say that 'A Nightmare on Elm Street 4' is the MTV generation's version of Freddy Kruger and I think Part VI is MTV Jason. Everything about this film is appealing to the teen crowd and once you've grown up, the film is a fun nostalgia trip that makes it my most viewed film in the series. It's not really popular opinion to place 'Jason Lives' so high, but I think I watched the film at the right time of my life for it to imprint on me years later. It's a great sequel and probably the last great sequel of the series.

And that was my ranking guys. What are your thoughts on the 'Friday the 13th' franchise? Do you think I'm stupid? Crazy? Or just wrong about my list? Let me know in the comments. I really love discussing 'Friday' with fans. Just some minor news as well, with October coming up I will be taking a look at some of the other major franchises. Unfortunately, I did not have the time to give an individual review to every 'Friday the 13th' so hopefully next month I can give you all both the reviews and some more rankings. I hope you all enjoyed reading, it really means a lot to me guys thank you and check back for more horror and mayhem.

REVIEW: 'IT Chapter Two' Brings A Satisfying But Flawed Conclusion

There is a lot riding on this weekend's 'IT Chapter Two' for Warner Bros. and for the 2019 Fall box office. 2017's 'IT' was an unexpected major hit, breaking records, gaining high critical praise, and bringing in a dump truck full of cash. So naturally it was expected that the follow up would have a tough act to follow. Even with the hardcore fans of Stephen King's novel the majority of criticisms come from the second portion involving the grown Loser's Club members and this film adaptation sadly is just as flawed. However, the same cast & crew return with some great additions to bring back the majority of the first half's spark and overall bringing a satisfying conclusion to the story.

The film is almost a remake during its first hour or so, just swap out the kids for their adult counterparts. They are each terrorized by the murderous clown Pennywise until they finally come together in the second act. The film's finale is where you'll find Chapter Two's biggest strengths and it's where the film just lets loose and making for a wild ride. For many early viewers, the film's extreme length is seen as a bit much however I feel the runtime itself is not the problem, but rather what the film does with it. While a lot of it remains faithful to the source in doing so a lot of subplots are tossed away, some almost immediately after being introduced. Beverly's abusive husband is no longer a major portion here and he's regulated to a single scene, the same goes for Bill's wife Audra. Even scenes that do play out pretty close to the book's such as the return of bully Henry Bowers seem to come and go very quickly for such a long movie. The film doesn't seem to have as much of a straight direction as the previous entry overall, with many dead ends that can damper the experience some.

What is here is played very well by the new cast, with Bill Hader stealing the show as Richie Tozier, whose given some extra meat to his backstory and gives the character more heart overall. The film does makes attempts at better character building with Mike & Stanley who seemed to be left behind in the first part. Of course Bill Skarsgard returns as the vicious Pennywise and he brings the same menace and humor from before, but sadly he's not in this one quite as much. His various forms and illusions are still spread throughout, but that finale is where he shines (literally). Skarsgard had permanently ingrained himself in pop culture and it's well deserved. James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain, and the rest of the cast all play their parts well though some are given more to do than others.

The film retains the comedic and light hearted moments seen in the first half and are just as strong here. The added drama and emotion keeps the film from being too dull even during its slower beginnings. Sadly, the film's horror is really downplayed this time around and what's here is the typical stuff. You do get some pretty brutal gore sequences for a mainstream horror flick but they all consist of the usual buildup to a jump scare and some very cheap looking CGI effect and it's a real shame the film drops the ball here. It's clear they were trying to go further with this one with stronger violence and more disgusting visuals, but overall the computer effects are so unconvincing and really took me out of the film at times. The film relies a bit too much on this and little to almost no practical effects seemed to have been used even with returning gags that did. Bigger budget but cheaper special effects is sadly too common these days.

'IT Chapter Two' has a lot of problems with what it wants to do with its exuberant running time, wasting a lot of it on backtracking or dead ends. However, the film ultimately redeems itself thanks to its strong cast, its even stronger depth, and overall satisfying end to one of King's best works. The film has lost the spark of the first part, but this is still a great watch and I highly recommend a back-to-back binge. Hopefully, we can get a director's cut with both portions as I would like to see how different an experience it would be. Chapter Two may not be great, but it's good enough for your attention this weekend.

7/10